Everybody's Favorite RV Toy

Sewer hoses: Not something with a lot of glory. It's a lot more fun to go shopping for something with a little more bling--laptop computer maybe. But those things which have, "a purpose lacking honor," namely sewer hoses, are still a necessary thing.

The other day we found ourselves in a commercial RV park (something that rarely happens) with a full set of tanks. I'm embarrassed to relate however, that not only were those tanks full--the gray water was very full. Call it 2" of standing water in the shower. Sad to say, the layout of the site didn't allow my 10' hose to reach the port, so we called on a friend to bring his l-o-n-g ranger hose over. With everything in place, I pulled the lever for black water, and quicker than you can miss a freeway exit, that horrific stuff was squirting out of a series of pinholes in the hose.

We quickly revaluated the situation, and decided it would be best to simply "offload" enough of the gray water to safely pull the rig within our 10' hose range. After all, I was afraid the minute I put the throttle down, all that smelly gray water would slosh throughout the bathroom. When we got our own hose hooked up, I again started after that old black water tank. This time the evil stuff made its way out of our hose. Fortunately by cramming the hose together and holding it carefully (with neoprene gloves) we were able to contain the stuff to the inside of the hose, but it was touch and go.

The upshot of this wet and windy story is this: It doesn't seem to matter what "grade" of sewer hose you buy, sooner or later, the thing will give up the ghost and leave you wading around in unwholesome liquids. Experience does teach us that the less money you spend on your hose, the sooner you'll be looking for another one. We bought a "single wall" budget hose for a trailer used for a week every few months. In less than the first week, the thing could have been used for irrigating the lawn. On the other hand, our "triple wrapped" expensive hose that gave up the other day has lasted a couple of years of fairly frequent service. My friend's "no wires" hose too, lasted far longer than the cheapies.

Over the years we've struggled with the sewer hose question. At one point we went to an industrial hose supplier and bought a length of "self flattening" fire hose, put fittings on it, and hoped the thing would be just the ticket. After all, self flattening hoses roll up tight, and this we figured would save lots of space. Save lots of space it did. The trouble is the outfall of sewage just didn't provide enough pressure to "unflatten" the hose more than a few inches. Boy was that ever a mess! Sewer hoses are like members of the opposite sex: Can't live with 'em, Can't live without 'em.

The Nose Knows Holding Tank Stink

"I stink, therefore I am," says my philosopher. He lives under my RV, and travels everywhere with me. He is a rather nondescript fellow, about six feet tall, four feet wide, and a thin six inches thick. He seems to prefer a dark suit, in fact, every time I lay eyes on him, he's laying about, clad in the black skin of plastic suited to folks of his kind. Although he is never invited inside, from time to time he does--in an awful way--make his presence known. He is a windy fellow, and many of my associates simply state, "He's full of it." And so he is, for my friend the dark philosopher is a black water holding tank.

As much as I try and force him to keep his ideas to himself, he does on occasion air his opinions. Usually my better half, she with the more sensitive of noses, is the first to complain. "You've got to do something about this!" she'll yelp, making a rapid exodus from our little room of rest. It is perhaps the torture stake of the male species, this job of being resident problem-solver.
To keep my dark friend happy, I feed him a gruel of enzymes and bacteria, guaranteed to be "earth friendly," and to relieve my friend of unwanted odors. To be sure, when it doesn't work, I'm not sure who makes a bigger stink--my tank, or my wife.

Holding tank odors are a bane for RVers, but often they can be simply cured. First, we have not enough space to discuss the relative merits of holding tank chemistry--check a future blog for that--but if your tank "sits" for a long time without motion, say parked in an RV park for months on end--a sour tank is often a result.

I know I said I wouldn’t go into depth on holding tank chemistry, but I swear by the natural, enzyme and bacteria friendly variety. When my "green black water tank" goes sour, here’s the first fix: Dump the black water tank and refill with fresh water--and dump it again. Now chuck a pound box of baking soda down the toilet and again, REFILL the black tank with water. Let it sit overnight and dump it again. Now recharge the tank with your bacteria friendly treatment following the maker’s recommendations.

My philosopher friend urges that dogged determination may be required to track down and cure a smelly problem. At least that's what I translate--"When pesky pots pose proboscis problems, probably pointed poking will prevail." 'Nuf said.