Do you have a last name? What’s wrong with you?

Do you have a last name? What’s wrong with you?

By Chuck Woodbury
ROADSIDE JOURNAL
In America, you know you have made it when you no longer need a last name. I still have a last name, so I guess I have not made it. To illustrate, you cannot just walk up to anyone in this country and say, “Hey, how about Chuck?” People would ask, “Chuck who?”

Not having a last name is not an entirely new thing. It’s just epidemic now. Twenty-five years ago, for example, you could ask “Hey, do you like Cher?” and everybody would know you were talking about the singer. But most people back then still had last names. Of course, there was Elvis. Maybe he was the first person to need only one name. Of course, everyone knows who Jesus is.

But take a look at the photos of these magazine covers below that I spotted at the grocery store the other day! Not a single person has a last name! Is that amazing or what?

•Little did I know that Minka was targeted by Jesse’s wife?” Who?

•And did you know that Miranda has gotten even with Blake? Big news, eh?

•OMG! Do you believe it? There is even more scandal for Meri!

•Oh, this is is terrible news — that Theresa and Joe are getting a divorce! And poor Anna and Chris! Apparently their divorce has turned ugly. My heart is breaking!

•And did you know that Nicole and Reese are secret enemies? Why can’t they just kiss and make up?  They should not hold grudges. It’s bad for their health, for one! It is so stupid, in my opinion, to have a secret enemy!

But on the upside, it’s good to hear that Katy and Rob are friends. I’m so happy for them, whoever they are.

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2 thoughts on “Do you have a last name? What’s wrong with you?

  1. Roger Marble

    Chuck, What goes around seems to come around. It wasn’t that long ago that surnames were not universal. If you lived in a village with a total population of 125 people everyone knew everyone else. You might have “Big” John or John the Senior or Junior, etc.
    My ancestor John Marble showed up in Boston in 1635 but no firm record exists about him before that. It is believed he was a stone mason so maybe “John the marble worker” or John the marble mason” evolved into simply John Marble.
    I do have another ancestor recorded as John DeMaranville. He was French and was from the village of Moraine, France, so it is entirely possible that when in New Hampshire in 1725 and was asked in his name, he replied Je suis John de moraine ville.

  2. Tommy Molnar

    It used to be that the Enquirer and Globe were front row center in the gauntlet leading up to the check-out stand. No more! Now it’s all this stuff about people that I (at the ripe young age of 71) have for the most part never even heard of.

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